SOCHEWS

It came out. After 12 years. And yeah, I was nervous.

She was sitting opposite me. A simple blue dress. That English accent. A smile that melted all that was hard within.

We had just spent the last 2 hours talking about Wall-E, fancy restaurants, Hong Kong, the economy and our high school years. That last one was key. She was, after all, my high-school crush.

From the moment I saw her in Form One, my heart was never at peace. It latched onto her like Velcro, and her smile would burn in my mind. But like most teens, confidence was still in short supply. I never could muster the courage to tell her how I felt.

The closest was Prom Night. I was looking for a date. I steeled myself, picked up the phone, and dialled her number. Then I heard her ring tone. I slammed the phone down. I couldn’t. I crushed my own opportunity because I was too scared.

She left for London. Never to return for another 12.

Fate has a way of making us face our fears. She returned recently, and she was eager to meet. She was also attached. Mere details.

So, after dilly-dallying, changing subjects, shifting feet, a boy must finally grow a pair. So I blurted it out. And waited for her response.

She smiled. *sigh*

Then she threw her head back, and laughed. Heartily.

“Do you remember Valentines Day? I sent you a card.” She leaned forward, eyes wide open.

Strangely, I didn’t. You would think that for all this talk of secondary school loves, I would have framed that card in my room.

“You did? I can’t believe I don’t remember. I must have been over the moon.”

“Ahh. I did. I think you sent me one too.”

We stared. A sudden awkwardness took place. In that split-second, that tinge of regret came back. If only. If only I just let the phone ring a moment longer. If only love took my hand, and charted a course. How different would things have been?

Then, just like that, the conversation turned, and we reminisced about ‘the good ‘ol days’, and all our common school friends. I guess that’s how we deal with regrets - we let them live, but only in flashes. Then we move on with gratitude.

Another hour passed. And it was time to say goodbye.

In reality, nothing has changed. But everything is different.