SOCHEWS

* I like to begin every year with a word/phrase that somehow rings in my heart, and sets the tone for the days and months ahead. In 2010, the phrase was “a year of gifts”. In 2011, it was “a year of remembrance”. These words serve as an anchor, and has become a practice I’ve really cherished every new year.

“The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.”

“And Mary said, “Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say … God took one good look at me, and look what happens - I’m the most fortunate woman on Earth! What God has done for me will never be forgotten.” (Genesis 2:25; Luke 1: 38, 48)

Mary, the humble, non-descript no-name, was visited by an angel. She’s told news that would shake her to her core: she would carry the baby Jesus, the divine in her womb. And as fearful and confused as she may have been, her response was: I believe. Let it be as you said. I’m here. And available.

Such was her response to the unexpected. Such was her heart, open to possibilities, as incredible and illogical and downright silly it sounds. Such was her faith that became the bridge between what is, and what is to come.

I look back at 2011, on the cusp of a new year. It was truly a year of remembrance - against all odds, and amidst all aches and longings and trials and triumphs and busyness, it was a fight to remember. To remember who I am as a Son and Child, to remember that friends around me are walking the same journey of faithhopelove, to remember the One who loves furiously and forevermore. It was tough. Very painful. But there is a sense of this presence beside, of a reassurance He’s there. That’s something I’m so grateful for. That he never leaves or forsakes. Not in the light. Not in the dark.

But what of 2012? What of the days ahead, the events to come? What of the surprises in store, wanted and unwarranted? What will be called forth from me above and beyond what I imagine I have? What of the new page?

For the last few days, the word “courage” has been resonating deep within. The word is powerful, speaking to the core of who we are as beings. The word, after all, comes from the same word as “heart”, and literally means “to have heart”, and maybe there’s a sense that God is asking me: put your heart on the line. Give it freely, without reservation, brave, in whatever condition.

And this scares me. For to have courage is to know nakedness. To be heart-full is to stand, naked, warts and all, in front of God and others, and let shame wash away. It’s to be intimately familiar with all I am not and don’t have - my ugliness, my pride, my defenses torn down and exposed - and learn to be okay with it. That’s frightful. Because who knows the situations when your nakedness will be called upon, when you’re seen by all? Will there be love, grace, by the One who knows me, and by those around?

I don’t fully understand how this word will be unpacked as the days and months of 2012 move along. I don’t know if I will have courage. I don’t know that when the times come for me to step forward, fear-full, and I have put my heart on the line, whether I will respond like Mary. But like Mary, God doesn’t see my accomplishments, my name, and is no respecter of reputations or labels. He just believes in my heart, in my core. He just speaks, allowing the power of His words to strip me bare, and change my world. He just lets love reign like a banner over me.

Take courage.
Stand naked.
Give all of your heart.
To me.
And to others.
And things will happen.
That you never thought possible.

Father, as I start the first day of 2012, I thank you for all you’ve done, and all you are. I love you Father. You’ve been so good. Thank you.

Lord, teach me courage. Teach me to be heart-full, to live with the freedom of a child who can give all his heart, and not be worried. In the face of my fears, in the moments of nakedness, always grant me the grace to take the next steps.

Let it be Father. As you have said.

Amen.