SOCHEWS

When 2009 began, I had a few resolutions in mind.

I wanted to journal more frequently. I wanted to turn more strangers into friends. And I wanted to try acting.

The last one was the scariest, and the most uncertain. I’ve always harboured this secret desire since I was a teen to act, to tell stories, to play the part of hero or villain. That it took me a good 29 years to give it a shot tells you how little I thought of my own desires. Which is never a good thing, but thank God I finally disobeyed my fears.

I held a phrase close to my heart as I took this step: I have nothing to lose, everything to gain.

I did a short film in January. That was an itsy-bitsy step.

Then in February, I auditioned for a play called Stage Therapy, a collection of 7 short Malaysian plays, put together by a new theatre group called Electric Minds Project. I got the gig.

Work was piling up. Logic said ‘no’. But it’s true - what the hell has logic ever achieved?

So I took up two roles. We ended up performing to packed houses in Annexe Central Market. The adrenaline-high was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. People encouraged me to keep pushing on. I started to believe.

Then in June, I auditioned for a theatre festival called Short+Sweet, a showcase of local ten-minute plays. And in a gift-wrapped opportunity, KLPAC’s resident director Chris called me and asked if I wanted to try out his piece. Hell yeah.

I find rehearsals to be a voyage both bitter and sweet. There are days you absolutely do not want to run through the darn thing for the 10th time. But then there’s the camaraderie, the jokes, the bloopers, the scoldings. It ends up becoming more than just a play. It turns into an investment of your soul. Catharsis.

Short+Sweet was heaps of fun. If everything stopped at the show itself, I would have been satisfied. One night, my great friend Yuchun and his wife came to watch the show. Backstage, when I thought of their presence, I surprised myself with my tears. I have the best friends in the world, I thought. I’m blessed.

But to my amazement, I also won a little cherry on the top: Best Newcomer (Male). Such a shock, and when I went back home, I started to realise how grace was truly paving a way for me. Eight months ago, I made a leap of faith. Eight months later, I won an award. Such is the gift of grace.

I still wonder where this road is taking me. I’ve got a musical in December that is very exciting. And buried at the back of my head is this nagging thought that maybe, just maybe, this could be more than just a side hobby. But I’m content to wait and see where that thought leads me.

For now, I’m just awed. By friends old and new, by chances taken, by blood and sweat shed, by a horizon that offers limitless possibilities.

And most of all, by the One who leads this child into unknown dreams.

j